Howdy!

How are you priceless?
This month will be my last month of the 5th semester... Glad but also sad...
Glad because of that I will have a break for a lil while from the campus work and assignment... Meaning holiday, but not exactly holiday I have my first internship at an advertising production at Jakarta. So then I going to move for 3weeks with my dad for the internship :) really looking forward about it hahaha
Sad, because I'm going to leave Surabaya and not going to see abang for a while :(

And I'm going to hit my bed really soon like NOW!

Ttyl ( talk to you later )

Love

Pratiwi

O-Hai!

Again, i apologize for my non-reasonable absences in the past few weeks. But I'm on track now :)
So, today i went to the hospital to have a lil surgery on my eye... scary right, but i thought it was then we it went so smoothly done I'm glad that I've done it because it might annoyed me more :)
After it done, the doctor had to cover my eye for half of the day to prevented any damages hehehe and i actually took picture of it (after the surgery) but i'll show you tommorow ;)

Gonne hit the bed really soon, b'cause I'm going to catch first plane to attend my sister wedding :)
and i'll keep you post more about the adventure that i have...

have a great night
<3 Pratiwi  

today quote

"You've got to follow your passion. You've got to figure out what it is you love who you really are. And have the courage to do that. Believe that the only courage anybody ever needs is the courage to follow your own dream"

-Oprah Winfrey

Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish - Steve Jobs

Steve Jobs's speech at the Stanford Universiy 2005 

Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky - I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation - the Macintosh - a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me - I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I retuned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.
I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.

Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005

Rest In Peace Steve Jobs

Steve and His Apple Logo 

 

One of the world greatest man, is gone...
also on that day, my Boyfriend's mbah is gone...
one of the great, tough and strong woman 

Rest In Peace Steve Jobs and Mbah

back again

glad to be back in the blooging world, where i can show it through my writting, pictures or maybe photos.
these past few weeks been the hardest weeks fro me, i am in the situation where i want to give something  and i changed my mind not giving up on it.

these past few weeks really teach me how to live my life, i start to enjoy my live again like i used to and i am trying to enjoy it again :)
i'm begining to re-thing the old dreams that've been dumped inside the box and try to reach it again.
i want to travel more, want to explore more the beauty of the earth. i want to take pictures again, be in love with photography than used to be my soulmate...

i want to find the missing pieces of me that left behind, i want to find me :)

F!

well, it really was a bad day for me. what i had planned it all went wrong and made me disapointed...
on top of that i really can't control my self. these past few weeks i'd been a girl that like to hide her self, not me anymore...
hiding all my thoughts and i hate being this kind of girl...
i'm trying to accept what is new in my life right now, honestly i am still trying to accept it
i feel so lonely but i know that i still have GOD beside me,
i'm scared, scared of something will happen to us.. something will change us
i believe you, i do but can you prove it to me

the journey of being mature

ada saatnya dimana kita merasakan gimana susahnya menjadi orang yang dewasa.
menjadi dewasa dalam fisik maupun batin.
dewasa dalam menghadapi semua yang terjadi di dalam hidup kita...
dewasa menurut saya menjadi kata yang susah untuk diraih.

menuju dewasa perlu adanya jatuh bangun, perlu adanya tangisan, pertengkaran, sakit hati...
tapi hal-hal tersebut yang membangun diri kita untuk selalu tegar, selalu ingin bisa maju dan melupakan hal-hal tersebut.
proses pendewasaan itu sulit...

setiap hari selalu ada saja,hal yang membuat saya terjatuh setelah bangkit... banyak hal itu datang dari diri sendiri. dimana untuk mengkontrol perasaan sendiri itu susahnya bukan main, kadang hasil yang diinginkan tidak sama. bukan kadang tapi banyak sekali. mungkin karena saya orangnya suka ber-andai andai dan mau mempunyai happy ending dan tidak memikirkan the sad endingnya.

berharap banyak itu sangat tidak baik, ketika harapan itu tidak dapat diwujudkan itu yang membuat kita jatuh dan merasakan sakitnya. dari situ saya mulai belajar untuk bisa lebih mandiri dalam menangani masalah, mengajari saya untuk tidak bergantung pada orang lain dan tidak ber-andai andai terlalu tinggi.

kadang untuk menyelesaikan 'sakit' itu kita hanya bisa menangis dan terdiam. tapi menangis bukanlah sesuatu hal bisa dianggap 'shame'. menurut saya, setiap orang punya caranya masing-masing dalam menyelesaikan sakit itu. menangis itu pun juga bisa membuat orang tersebut bisa menjadi kuat, itu bukan berarti orang itu cengeng. tidak hanya menangis, mungkin ada orang yang melampiaskan memalui teriak, menjadi workaholic mungkin saja sampai hal yang tidak harus dilakukan pun dilakukan karena itu cara untuk melampiaskan rasa 'sakit' itu.

'don't judge the book by it's cover'
peribahasa yang benar dan ga sepatutnya kita menjudge seseorang dari depannya saja. banyak dari kita menilai orang dari penampilan luar saja, hahaha banyak sekali contoh di dunia ini. saya pun juga mulai belajar,bagaimana bisa menerima orang lain yang mempunyai karakter berbeda bahkan bertolak belakang dengan karakter saya.

dengan mengenal diri kita terlebih dahulu dan mau menerima diri kita apa adanya adalah cara yg bisa mmebuat kita bisa menerima orang lain dan membuat kita mengerti apa arti pendewasaan.

puzzle

"that should be me holding your hand
 that should be me making you laugh
 that should be me feeling your kiss
 that should be me buying you gift"

instead of me, i want you...
am i wrong?
am i never be good enough?

welcome back

welcome readers :)

sudah lama sekali saya tidak menulis di blog ini. banyak sekali cerita yang pengen banget dibagi tapi pasti ada ada halangan dan akhirnya batal untuk menulis...
tapi halangan itu ga buat semangatku untuk bisa tetap menulis dong, walaupun cuma sekedar saying Hello :)
hmm... ada banyak hal yg bakalan aku ceritain dan juga project-project aku yang akan datang.

so stay tune terus ya di blog saya ini :)

love
puput:)